The Real Meaning Behind “dejarte ir”

No sé qué pasa con los hombres, que en nuestra mente sentimos que tenemos que ser dignos de amor, que si no podemos proveer, no somos verdaderos hombres.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’ve seen a lot of guys talk about it on TikTok, and it’s an insecurity many of us carry. How can we love someone if we feel like we can’t give them what they deserve?

Especially in your early 20s, you’re still figuring everything out, what you want to do, the life you want to live, chasing a dream that nobody really believes in. Those feelings start to stack on top of each other. Sometimes, it leads to a really hard decision: letting go of someone you care about so they’re not held back by you. Everything can be going right, but deep down, you know you’re not where you want to be yet, and that insecurity ends up pushing them away.

That’s what “dejarte ir” is about. Letting them go.

“dejarte ir” Cover Art

This image was taken in Los Angeles after I was coming back from a writing session in Santa Monica. My talented artist friend Carter Vogel took it. I thought the area looked cool and captured the feeling of being lost in life and chasing a dream, even if we were just there to get some al pastor tacos.

I wrote “dejarte ir” in my song journal where I write all my other songs. My friend Walter Martinez sent me a pack of beats he had been working on. One thing about Walter is that his production always has a unique texture, you can tell when something is his. For example, instead of using traditional hi-hats, he’ll replace them with cricket chirps, and it sounds so natural you don’t even notice unless you’re really listening. That’s actually in this song.

Anyways, as soon as I heard the beat, I knew it was something special. The drum pattern, the sample loop, it felt like a sad R&B record that I could feel in my soul. People know me for performing with high energy and dancing, but I started off writing in a completely different place. Back in middle school, I used to write sad poetry. That eventually turned into songwriting, and when I taught myself piano and guitar, all I wrote were emotional songs. That’s always been my foundation: vulnerability. So with this song, I was going back to that. I opened my journal and just started writing words that came to mind while listening to the beat:

“VIDA DE CANTANTE.”
“POR MI SUEÑO”
“AHORITA NO”

I didn’t come up with the name until when I was uploading it to my distributor, jaja. It was October 6th when I started writing the song. My 24th birthday was three days away. And I was thinking, I’m about to be 24 and still not a superstar.
24 and still working a job I didn’t love.
24 with no savings.
24 and I don’t have my life together.

I’m nowhere close to where I want to be, and time feels like it’s running out. That’s where this line came from:

“Que me tengo que apurar porque la fama no espera
Más ahora que ya no estoy en la escuela”

I had just graduated that May, so I no longer had the comfort or that “shield” of saying, I’m still in school, I’m still figuring it out. I was six months out, and reality was hitting. I still didn’t have my big boy job yet. I felt like time was running out, and still feel like it is. So I just started writing everything I was feeling, and slowly I began piecing verses together like a puzzle. At first it was simply about chasing my dream and the frustration of not being where I wanted yet, but I wanted to go deeper. I didn’t want it to sound like I was just complaining. I don’t like to complain. But at the same time, everyone needs somewhere to vent and for me, that’s music, it’s my therapy. That’s where this line came from:

“Mi guitarra es mi terapia cuando quiero llorar”

Then I started thinking about my life at that moment. I was dating an amazing girl, someone I had always dreamed of. I loved her, but I also loved music. Everything between us was good. Obviously I loved her, but my mind never really turns off. I kept thinking about the future. It’s funny, I love Captain America and how he stands up for what’s right, but I’m like Tony, I’m a futurist. I can’t not think about what’s coming, good or bad. I kept thinking about what a music artist lifestyle really looks like. About how many artists struggle to maintain relationships. Breakups, divorces… is that what comes with chasing this dream? Is that my fate? Does she ever feel embarrassed telling people her boyfriend is a “rapper” or a “music artist”? I wouldn’t blame her. Most people see it as a hobby. But for me, it’s my life. And then the other side of it…

What if I gave up my dream to be with her?

I’d be happy. I’d be in love. But I also know myself, and I know I would always wonder what I could’ve been. Love or your dream. One or the other. I already knew my answer.

I would always choose my dream… no matter how much it hurts.

This is me back when I was busking in the summer with my friend Sophia Anthony. I would perform my old songs back then but it never made money since I hadn’t released anything and no one knew who I was.

That’s when everything became clear. The song wasn’t just about chasing a dream anymore. It would be about letting someone go because of it. And that made writing it easier, because now I had a focus. Songwriting is like a puzzle, you’re piecing together lines, moments, and emotions to say exactly what you mean. If you change the order of a line, it can completely shift the meaning or emotional impact. So slowly I began to work through it, reflecting on my experiences and thoughts. I thought back to when I first started making music, I was busking at Rio in Gaithersburg with my high school friends. We’d make like $80 from people stopping, listening, and tipping us, then split it. Performing anywhere I could just so someone would hear me.

“Yo canto pa’ que alguien escuche mi voz”

That line is me remembering where I started. Most heartbreak songs are you did me wrong, but this one is “I let you go because I didn’t want to be the reason you struggled.” One of my favorite moments in the song is the bridge:

“quizás otro hombre te compre flores
Te dará lo que nunca pude darte: amores
Hay un montón de hombres que son mejores”

This part is raw and hurts and it’s good. In my opinion at least. It’s acceptance. It’s me acknowledging that someone else might be able to give her what I couldn’t at that moment. The way it’s mixed reflects that too. The reverb, the space in the vocals, it feels like your own thoughts echoing in your head. The drums drop out, the bass disappears, and you’re just left sitting in that decision. Mad Maxx (Marvin Arbaiza), the engineer on the track, really brought out the emotion in this song. He’s incredibly talented and made everything feel clear and real.

When I first recorded the song, Walter was there too. He was actually surprised I picked that beat since he’s used to my upbeat stuff, but I knew it was because I had something real to say. After the first draft, I asked him to add something different to the chorus, something that would shift the energy. That’s when he added the trap switch. To me, it moment represents pressure, more weight, more urgency to the lyrics. It’s the push and pull between love and ambition, between my emotions and my music. I also had him add DJ scratches, that’s something that’s part of my identity as an artist now. One thing about me is my songs will always have at least one of these: DJ scratches, vulnerable lyrics, or a beat switch. They are requirements, they are my sonic universe.

But back to the theme of the song: I don’t think there’s a “right” answer. I don’t think choosing your dream over love makes you a bad person, and I don’t think choosing love makes you weak either. It just depends on who you are and what you’re willing to live with. And for us insecure men, there are women who don’t care where you are in life, they love you all the same. A real woman is there with you when you’re down because she sees the man you can become, and she’s ready to grow with you. That’s a real woman.

For me, I’d rather deal with the pain of wondering if she’s with someone else now than live the rest of my life wondering what I could’ve been. It’s a lonely feeling, but it’s honest. If you’ve ever had to let go of someone you actually loved, not because you wanted to, but because you felt like you had to, then you already understand this song.

Y si no… algún día lo vas a entender.